So where do you suppose we'll find someone to clean up our pigsty?
Hey! Don't talk about a pig's home like that!
Okay. What about that man working on top of the building?
Let's try him. Remember Matilda, if I can't convince him than you'll have to.

 

 

I see you are very good handyman.
How would you like to meet me at this address
for a job interview about cleaning my apartment.
I'll offer you good money and free milk.
Thanks but no thanks.

 

 

But Mister, ya gotta. You see, my parents died in a car accident and
I was left with no place to go until this generous man
took me in. He works the whole day so I can have food in my
stomach and with what's left he puts into a college fund
so I can go to Julliard when I get older.
I'll definitely get in because I practice every day right
after I finish my studies. Please Mister?
Sorry honey, it's just not my type of job.

 

 

I'll shoot myself if you don't at least come in for an interview!
Um, well. I, I still don't know.
Forget it! We would have paid you five-thousand bucks if you got the job!

 

 

Hey wait! Where did you say you live?!

 

 

Okay, now what are your qualifications?
I can clean, wash your clothes and all that stuff, plus...watch this!

 

 

Okay. You've made it this far, now all you have to do it pass one test.
Wipe the milk off my face before I shoot my gun.

 

 

 

You got the job.

 

 

My first day wasn't all that bad.
I just scrubbed the bathroom and washed all the windows.

 

 

Then we went to visit Uncle Tony,
who kept all their money in a safe place.
He said I would get my money after he got back from
a trip to visit his mother in the hospital in Florida.
And for my patience and understanding
I would receive twelve percent interest.

 

 

The next day I was left all by myself to scrub,
while they were out doing whatever they do.

 

 

While scrubbing the kitchen floor I found quite an array of little dead things.

 

 

New York City cockroaches...

 

 

After only three hours of being cooped up in that apartment I flipped out.
I started screaming at all the dead insects while shooting my spray gun everywhere.

 

 

I even contemplated suicide.

 

 

As I was getting a garbage bag I heard Matilda's voice down the hall.
So I opened the door and there she was talking with the neighbors
about some party that would be held on the roof tomorrow.

 

 

My Uncle Norman came all the way from Mars to visit me!
We had the best time! We drank so much milk we went crazy!

 

 

After my Uncle left, Matlida and Leon took me out to dinner at Bouley.
Unfortunately, they only let me have bread and water.

 

 

When we got home there was only a little bit of milk left and Leon really wanted it.
But Matlida had it first so I protected her.

 

 

Can I just have one drop? I did protect you from Leon.

 

 

If you ever separate me from a glass of milk again
I will pull the trigger! You understand?
Mmm.
Matlida, I hear someone coming up the stairs,
why don't you take Mr. Milkhero and check it out.

 

 

Oh no! It's the people from the Child Protection Agency!
They come here every couple of months looking for me.
If it sounds like there are two or three of them then we can take 'em.
But if it's more than that I'll have to hide.
Whatever.

 

 

Now we've gone over this before. There are no scary monsters down there.
Hurry, you have to hide!
It's not that, I just want some milk for the ride!

 

 

Here's some. Now go!

 

 

Leon, you almost drank all the milk in the bottle,
so for the whole time I was down in that wet,
sticky and disgusting area I had no milk!
Milkhero, why don't you show Leon who's boss!

 

 

With no milk or money, we decided to wait outside for the milkman to arrive.
Then take what we so rightfully deserved.

 

 

Drop the milk! Leon, get the second guy!

 

 

I can't believe this! They have a party for all the tenants and didn't invite me?!
Maybe I can make the group photo.

 

 

Dear Matlida and Leon, The last few days have been very memorable.
But I am afraid I can no longer work for you. I let some of the little things go by,
like the time we went out to eat at an expensive restaurant and
you only let me have bread and water, or the time when
Leon put his gun in my mouth. But the main reason for me leaving
is because I was not invited to the tenant party.
I am deeply angered by this. I'm going to pick up my money from
Tony in the morning then leave town. Love from, Your Milkhero.

 

 

Hey Davey, you can't quite, cause your fired!

 

 

I'm so sorry Matlida. But he'll come back when he can't find Tony,
so we'll have to move.